Posts Tagged ‘gymming’

Someone Call the Locker Police, We Have an Emergency on Our Hands

Not only do I have to fight for a parking spot and a machine at the gym, I now find myself fighting for a locker space too!  Soo annoying.  A lot of people at my gym tend to put their belongings in random lockers without locking it up.  Hi, what’s the point? You might as well just leave your stuff on a bench if you don’t plan on locking it up.

But really, what are you supposed to do if there are no available lockers and you actually want to lock up your belongings?

After a stressful day at work, I really needed to gym to get out my frustration.  Of course there was no parking so I had to circle around for a while just trying to find a spot.  I finally got a parking spot and made my way up to the gym.  Surprise, surprise, no available lockers.  I quickly made the executive decision to open my friend’s locker and put my stuff in hers.  [Keep in mind that my friend had a locker WITH A LOCK]

All of the sudden an older fellow gym goer comes up to me and starts pointing to a sweatshirt on the bench while giving me the death stare.  Of course, I had no idea why this lady was staring at me, let alone, pointing at random shit that wasn’t mine.
The conversation goes like this:

[Side note: Gym Bez had a heavy accent, AKA hard to understand]

Gym Bez: “Excuse me” [points to sweatshirt multiple times]

Me: “Ummm…no thats not mine”

Gym Bez: [Points to the sweatshirt again]

Me: “Is this yours?”

Gym Bez: [Again, points to the sweatshirt] This is my sweatshirt!”

Me: “Oh, it’s nice! It really brings out the color in your eyes.”

Gym Bez: “Is that your locker?”

Me: “No, its my friends.  We are sharing today.”

Gym Bez: “That was my locker first.  You can’t take my sweatshirt out and just put it on a bench.”

Me: “Oh…look I had no idea, I just got here and I’m putting my stuff in MY FRIENDS locker.  I did not take your sweatshirt out.  I really don’t even know what you are talking about.”

Gym Bez: “You know its not fair for you take someone’s stuff out and place it on a bench.  That was my locker first.  I don’t even believe you have a friend.”

Me: “Honestly I’m really sorry about this but I didn’t take your stuff out. MY FRIEND DID!”

Gym Bez: “Young people these days have no respect.”

Me: [Awkward silence, did a quick double take to make sure my locker was locked and walked away]

After I left the locker room I see my friend and one of my trainer friends.  Of course as I’m giving them the 411 I see my new locker friend leave the locker room and head straight for the front desk.  Home Girl complained to the front desk saying that I took her stuff out of her locker.  She also had the nerve to tell them I made up that it was my friend’s locker.  Pretty sure I have friend’s lady, it’s not necessary to tell the front desk I have no friends!

I’ve learned two things from this experience:

1. Lock up your stuff…it’s not that hard

2. If you take someone’s stuff out of a locker get ready for someone to call the locker police

*This also ruined my gymming for the day because I was so nervous she somehow broke into my locker.  I had a hard time focusing on my fitness after this weird encounter.



Basting: To sit around stewing in one’s sweat and body odor after a workout.

Buddy Building: When two people who work out together become a single entity, and will not work out separately.

Bromethazine: A really hardcore BRO that inhales straight bromine at the gym, with his bros of course. One refers to these people as bromethazine, brody, bro, or a combination of these.

Buffness: When you are trying to define someone or something as extremely attractive or good looking.

Elliptismirk: The smirk that people on the elliptical exercising machine put on because they think that they are better than the non-exercising person.

Do Work: Works as a self motivator, to motivating your friends.

GTL (Gym, Tan, Laundry): The process of staying fresh and mint.  GTL must be done every day to achieve maximum potential.  You can also have a GTL Remix and throw a hair cut in the mix. Side effects do  include fist pumping.

Gymming: To go to the gym; to work out.

Gymtervention: An intervention for people who are addicted to going to the gym.

Gymuary: The month at the beginning of the year (usually lasting no more than two weeks) that sees a rush to get in shape by people making resolutions they can’t keep.

Gym Monkey: A person who spends all their time in the gym rather than going out.

Gym Rookie: The dumb person paying for a year membership that soon will quit working out in about 2 weeks-because they realize it’s not easy being fit.  This person also does not respect the daily gymmer. This person moves your towel off of the equipment where you obviously left it- to indicate your using the equipment still or when you’re waiting to be next, they are oblivious to your towel hung over the machine; your keys; cell phone or any other personal belongings laying there; while you refill your bottle or get a drink of water.

Juice Head: A person that works out all the time.  They always look like they are on steroids.

Lifting Iron: Lifting free weights, originally all made of cast iron.

Locker Fishing: When you go to the gym and there is no one next to your locker, but when you go to leave the gym and there are people at or near yours. They impede your ability to get ready. Therefore you put out your “lure” and you “fish” by attracting others around your locker.

Meat Head: A male who is overenthusiastic about lifting weights and whose thoughts consist of athletics, blondes, and sports cars.  The dead giveaway of a meathead is if their attire includes a sleeveless muscle shirt, athletic shorts, and a lanyard for their car keys. If you ever find yourself in a setting with multiple meat heads, be prepared for frequent high fives, chest bumps, and hand pounds.

Newbie: A person new to the gym.